Thanking the 3rd World

Some people might not believe I'm saying this. But today, I woke up late (what's new?) and I am thankful that I came from the 3rd world. I opened the water heater, and got ready to take a bath... only to find out, no water?! Oh my God.. Asia's World City, no water for a bath!?! (without a warning? Oh My GOD, that's uncanny) at 840 in the morning, all I can do is PANIC! But thankfully, the hot water tank has managed to save up some water of its own and I managed to get a basin and a half (half coming from distilled water) and took a bath with the limited supply! Hurrah, fresh and clean! ... And this is why I'm thankful I came from the 3rd world. They wouldn't have been able to budget the water if they wanted to. ;)

bubble wrap

five minutes ago, i was sitting on the sofa looking aimlessly into the white wall as i pop the remains of bubble wrap that i have.

*pop*crackle*pop*pop*

it seemed so comforting to hear the sound of aimlessness and boredom (well, not really) while letting your mind fly to places.

i was thinking of my life, going home for Christmas and my career. nothing out of the ordinary really. what should i do? how should it go? what decisions should i make? i browse through facebook and write my opinion about something. I discover still that twitter may somehow be banned in Hong Kong (not that i care about twitter much) and I finished watching A Muppets Movie: Letters to Santa.

O, what a way to spend a Sunday..

Sigh..maybe should just go back to popping my bubble wrap.

I've no idea why it feels this way. It makes me uneasy.

Dreams do Come True

I realized today that everyone's dreams come true.
Everyone's wishes come to life.
Only sometimes, your dreams come true in other people's lives;
And wishes are fulfilled the same way.

Maybe they need it more than we do.

Any which way, they are materialized, whether we like it or not.

*Sing a Song for Christmas!*

Pasko na sinta ko hanap-hanap kita
Bakit magtatampo iniwan ako

Kung mawawala ka sa piling ko sinta
Paano ang Pasko, inulila mo

Sayang sinta ang sinumpaan
At pagtitinginang tunay
Nais mo bang kalimutang ganap
Ang ating suyuan at galak

Kung mawawala ka sa piling ko sinta
Paano ang Paskong alay ko sa'yo

Sayang sinta ang sinumpaan
At pagtitinginang tunay
Nais mo bang kalimutang ganap
Ang ating suyuan at galak

Kung mawawala ka sa piling ko sinta
Paano ang paskong alay ko sa'yo

realization

minsan akala mo may taong palaging nandon, na mapagsasabihan mo ng kahit ano. bagama't di ka nila iwanan, sa huli, maiintindihan mo ring, hindi lahat ng bagay pwede mong sabihin, at hindi lahat ng oras, sila'y mananatili.

i seem to have a knack of making a fool out of myself sometimes. I don't really think I'm an airhead but it seems I act that way around certain people. Ditz galore. hahaha Oh well. Life happens. Sh*t happens too.

E. Samar starts back-to-province scheme - INQUIRER.net, Philippine News for Filipinos

I think this is a good program :)

E. Samar starts back-to-province scheme - INQUIRER.net, Philippine News for Filipinos

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2PM already!?

i cant believe its 2 PM...woke up pretty early today for a holiday. up by around 9:15... wanted to finish Her Fearful Symmetry, a new book by Audrey Niffeneger, the author of Time Traveler's Wife...but it seemed just weird..everything's so fast 2 pm and havent done a thing to make my house a little bit more orderly.... noticing too much of couch potato-ness lately... just garfield like and don't want to do anything at all.. im tired. :(

Craving for...

Rai Rai Ken's Gyudon :)

elections

The elections is still about 10 months away. Sadly, with what's been happening, I don't think I'd like to participate in the next one. I feel sad for Philippine politics.

It gets a wee bit political...

I find it quite disrespectful to the Philippine Nation that today was declared a holiday because of a funeral.

intro extrovert

if i was probably to take the myers briggs test today, i might turn out to be an introvert. i have noticed quite a lot of change in me in the past few years. years ago, i believed that i was change. i was the catalyst and i was the person where all new ideas come from.

i was it.

i honestly don't know when it all changed. but everything did. something must have happened. something must have triggered it. after all, everything happens for a reason.

but the reason doesn't matter to me now. since, well, as i've said the change has already taken place.

i am not really sure what to feel about it. all i know is that i have to live with it.

i spend a lot of hours at home ever since i moved to hong kong. and it's simply not because i hated the place, in fact, i love hong kong. the convenience, the flow, the 'diversity' if you may... i just seem to find some quiet and peace in my house here that it seems so inviting. wow.

not as if it's the grandest of mansions. in a way, im writing this because i would love to reach out again. i would like to be full of life, to shine, to be vibrant. maybe the #3 in me, wants to come out. enough of #6 for a while. (enneagram numbers if you're confused whoever you are)

oh well.. gotta find an online myers briggs

Today

I am reminded of Psych Testing days... And in a way, it feels weird, but also good and refreshing to score psych tests again :)

Thank you Sir Weevens! Hehehe

Things I Promised to do if...

I get extended in Hong Kong... which I was told that I was.. so hurray..

1) Apply for a US Visa as promised to Adele
2) Fix my Open ticket and decide whether to go home for Christmas this year (although this seems to be a no brainer)
3) Serve in at least 1 ministry in church (this one I need to work on..)

Birthday Wishlist :D

Don't marry Filipinas for human organs - INQUIRER.net, Philippine News for Filipinos

Don't marry Filipinas for human organs’ - INQUIRER.net, Philippine News for Filipinos

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And the typhoons come

to mourn the loss of Philippine's symbol of democracy. Although I am not much of a Cory Aquino fan, and all I would remember of her administration is 'galunggong'...

RIP Mrs.Aquino

The Sacrament of Waiting

Believe this homily has been going around Facebook these past few days. Written in 2008, it talks about waiting. Not really one of my favorite topics, but I've had my brush with waiting and it did teach me a lot of things. Things greatly appreciated that I can only keep it in my heart and reflect on it with a smile.

Reading through this made me realize that sometimes, waiting is an option and that no matter how awful the journey is in waiting, the end goal might actually be the best prize.

Personally, I hate waiting. I hate it. I loathe it. It?s painful, it?s stressful and it causes a lot of unnecessary decisions. But as the cliche goes, what does not kill you will only make you stronger.

I do hope, and yes, I said hope, that after this reflection, I will truly be reminded to wait again.

And so would you.

Enjoy!

THE SACRAMENT OF WAITING
by Fr. James Donelan, S.J.

The English poet John Milton wrote that those who
serve only also stand and wait. I think I would go
further and say that those who wait render the highest
form of service. Waiting requires more discipline,
more self-control and emotional maturity, more
unshakable faith in our cause, more unwavering hope in
the future, more sustaining love in our hearts that
all the greatest deeds of derring-do go by the name of
action.

Waiting is a mystery - a natural sacrament of life -
there is a meaning hidden in all the times we have to
wait. It must be an important mystery because there is
so much waiting in our lives. Everyday is filled with
those little moments of waiting (testing our patience
and our nerves, schooling us in self-control). We wait
for meals to be served, for a letter to arrive, for a
friend to call or show up for a date. We wait in line
at cinemas and theaters, concerts and circuses. Our
airline terminals, railway stations and bus depots are
great temples of waiting filled with men and women who
wait in joy for the arrival of a loved one - or wait
in sadness to say goodbye and give the last wave of
hand. We wait for springs to come - or autumn - for
the rains to begin and stop. And we wait for ourselves
to grow from childhood to maturity. We wait for those
inner voices that tell us when we are ready for the
next stop.

We wait for graduation, for our first job, our first
promotion. We wait for success and recognition. We
wait to grow up - to reach the stage where we make our
own decisions. We cannot remove this waiting from our
lives. It is a part of the tapestry of living - the
fabric in which the threads are woven to tell the
story of our lives. Yet current philosophies would
have us forget the need to wait. "Grab all the gusto
you can get!" So reads one of America's greatest beer
ads - get it now! Instant pleasure, instant transcendence.
Do not wait for anything. Life is short
- eat, drink and be merry because tomorrow you will
die. And so they rationalize us into accepting
unlicensed and irresponsible freedom - pre-marital sex
and extra marital affairs - they warn against
attachments and commitments - against expecting
anything of anybody, or allowing them to expect
anything of us - against dropping any anchors in the
currents of our life that will cause us to hold and
wait.

This may be the correct prescription for pleasure -
but even that is fleeting and doubtful - what was it
Shakespeare said about the mad pursuit of pleasure -
"Past reason hunted, and once had, past reason hated."
Not if we wish to be real human beings, spirit as well
as flesh, soul as well as heart, we have to learn to
wait. For if we never learn to wait, we will never
learn to love someone other than ourselves.

For most of all waiting means waiting for someone
else. It is a mystery, brushing by our face everyday
like a stray wind of leaf falling from a tree. Anyone
who has loved knows how much waiting goes into it -
how much waiting is important for love to grow, to
flourish through a lifetime. Why is this? Why can we
not have it right now what we so desperately want and
need? Why must we wait - two years, three years - and
seemingly waste so much time? You might as well ask
why a tree should take so long to bear fruit - the
seed to flower - carbon to change to diamond. There is
no simple answer - no more than there is to life's
other demands - having to say goodbye to someone you
love because either you or they have made other
commitments; or because they have to grow and find the
meaning of their own lives - having yourself
to leave home and loved ones to find your own path -
good-byes, like waiting, are also sacraments of our
lives.

All we know is that growth - the budding, the
flowering of love needs patient waiting. We have to
give each other a time to grow. There is no way we can
make someone else truly love us or we them, except
through time. So we give each other that mysterious
gift of waiting - of being present without asking
demands and rewards. There is nothing harder to do
than this. It truly tests the depth and sincerity of
our love. But there is life in the gift we give. So
lovers wait for each other - until they can see things
the same way - or let each other freely see things in
quite different ways.

There are times when lovers hurt each other and cannot
regain the balance of intimacy of the way they were.
They have to wait - in silence - but still present to
each other - until the pain subsides to an ache and
then only a memory and the threads of the tapestry can
be woven together again in a single love story. What
do we lose when we refuse to wait; when we try to find
shortcuts through life - when we try to incubate love
and rush blindly and foolishly into a commitment we
are neither mature nor responsible enough to assume?
We lose the hope of truly loving or of being loved.

Think of all the great love stories of history and
literature - isn't it of their very essence that they
are filled with this strange but common mystery - that
waiting is part of the substance -the basic fabric
against which the story of that true love is written.
How can we ever find either life or true love if we
are too impatient to wait for it?

Waiting is a good thing only if something is worth
waiting for. How will you know if it's worth it? Gut
feel. What if you don't trust your gut? Pray. You will
be enlightened. Trust me. Is it wrong to expect while
waiting? It's not wrong, but it will increase your
chances of heartbreak and disappointment if things
don't work out in the end.

Is it good to expect while waiting?

It is better to HOPE. What's the difference
between hoping and expecting? HOPING means you're open
to either side of the coin landing though you're more
inclined to believe that things will turn out well.
EXPECTING means you're thinking single-track... which
won't do you much good at all. What's the difference
between waiting and expecting? EXPECTING is waiting
for something TO DEFINITELY HAPPEN. WAITING is staying
where you are, but not necessarily expecting something
to happen definitely.

Do you need assurance from someone you're waiting for
while you're waiting? Ideally, yes. But realistically,
do you really want assurance from this person? It's so
easy to just point at something and make that the
reason why you're waiting ("Because she said..."
"Because he told me that...").

With WAITING, all you
really can rely on are three things: your gut feel,
your heart and mind. Just YOURSELF, not anyone else.
So should you wait? What does your gut say? How does
your heart feel? What does your mind think? If they're
saying different things, keep asking yourself these
three questions (and pray!) until you get a solid
answer.

THEN you'll know if he or she is worth waiting for.

Selfishness kicks in..

When Charissa just doesn't want to be understanding anymore.

Being Noticed

Sometimes you just wish to be noticed. I hate that feeling, but I can never deny that it's fun if it happens. But then, it doesn't. or well it hasn't happened for a very long time...

Tama Na, Sobra Na!

I was browsing the news online and saw this...

Shanghai to build version of Jackson's Neverland

http://ph.news.yahoo.com/ap/20090708/ten-as-china-michael-jackson-5e343d7.html

I don't mind the tribute. But I think one Neverland is enough. It's what made Michael Jackson so special.

He might have taken the idea from Peter Pan, but a Made in China version?

Why?

3 coup plotters hold reunion - INQUIRER.net, Philippine News for Filipinos

3 coup plotters hold reunion - INQUIRER.net, Philippine News for Filipinos

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=O=

stop it!

leave me alone!

oh wait, what am i saying?

i am alone.

wake up calls

good morning me. well. good afternoon. but day after day after day, you get that wake up call and it tells you, get to your senses woman. you're never really get what you want.

delivery

antok na.
ewan.
alam mo naman ata yung order ko.
paki deliver naman.
30 - 45 minutes?
hot. fresh.

Ego

Every child is brought up to think that they are beautiful and handsome.

places

Ok, it's March and it's nearly (if not already) Summer in the Philippines. Season to wear a tank top, a pair of short shorts, and the comfy flip flops in the dusty streets of and sticky-floored SM malls.

When I was younger, my family always took trips to nearby tourist destinations around the Philippines. I guess, the love to travel came from that tradition. We're the type where we wake up in the morning and we're just told to put on appropriate clothes because we're headed to the beach or something.

I always loved that.

We frequented Laguna (Pansol, Calamba, Los Baños), Batangas (usually Nasugbu), and Baguio (of course!) But in between that, I got a chance to learn about different towns and provinces as we passed them and stopped to check out the goodies that each town would have to offer. Those were quite great experiences.

Now that I am a bit older and working, I don't think I lost the passion for traveling. I love going to places and still aim to travel within the Philippines to see places that I haven't been to and just experience the many natural wonders that God has bestowed in the country I grew up in.

In the years after we stopped traveling as much, I still have had the chance to visit some places in the Philippines such as Ilocos, Sagada, Banaue, Palawan (I need to go back, visit was too short), Cebu, Bohol (I love it!), Zamboanga (pink sand beaches at Sta. Cruz!) and Davao. Each place had its own charm and well, I've come up with a list of Philippine places I want to visit next.

(1) Batanes

(2) Donsol, Sorsogon

-and other parts of Bicol

This calls for a road trip

(3) Palawan

- a proper tour this time

and

Coron

(4) Dumaguete

-envious of that nice white beach in AJ's blog.

Sooo beautiful..

Anyway, will post some drool pictures next time...

On Conquering the Other...

Someone once asked me if my dream in life is to become rich. Odd as it may sound, I've never dreamed of being rich, just well-off, or stable enough to finance the things that I would like to have.

It's always been amazing for me how some people would have goals in life, whether it's to become rich, be the president of a country, be the next CEO in 10 years, be a family person etc. When I was younger, it never occurred to me that I had to be rich, or that I had to have a goal. (long term), I just lived life as it is. Day to day, long term would be planning at most one month ahead for the next project and that's because a deadline has already been given. Even so, I'd cram it in the last week.

What's the point? I believe I've written about this several times. Goals. But a few weeks ago, I've had conversations with 2 friends that seemed to have made impressions on me. And it's about getting someone you want.

Note: Someone NOT Something.

Now, getting things you want seem easy. You either brat someone to get it for you, or get it yourself. Some work harder to get it, but eventually, if you really want something, you will get it. After all, you have the means to do so.

Now, getting someONE is another thing. It quite reminds me of philosophy lectures in AdMU where we were taught over and over again about the "Other". Conquering the "other". I can't remember which class it was, nor could I remember which philosopher was it, but getting someone is like conquering the other. And much alike to conquering countries probably during the years of war, there will always be resistance.

And there are no factories either to mass produce that particular someone for you.
My two friends have said the same thing about this topic, "so far, I've always managed to get who I want..."

Wow, lucky streak.

But I guess that's just the game right?

Oh well, wonder if I'm up for such a challenge.

It's really foggy today. You can barely see anything outside. =) I love Hong Kong this way.

i just don't want to be the girl next door anymore ok???!!

squeak and sigh

as much as i hate to admit it, i feel a twinge of envy for every happy couple whenever valentine's day is approaching. sigh. here's to another single awareness day. like everything else, love is taking its time to reach me as well. and sometimes, i kinda get that thought that i've forgotten what it feels like, and i wouldn't know what to do with it if it comes. if it does come at all. sigh.

picking up pieces

it's been a while; everything's been left behind and it's been a while. sometimes when you've left something behind, you simply don't want to go back and pick up the pieces anymore.

Small Happy Things

Calvin Klein CK1 100 ml for 156 HKD at Bonjour. :D

Whee-ness

Some things on my mind..

1. I can't find my Apacer 4GB Flash Drive...I just found out how to fix it and it's lost :(
2. There are 5 senses - touch, smell, hear, taste, sight... live life. awaken your senses. awaken mine.
3. I still like Tweety bird.
4. Family is family, sometimes it can also be "schmamily"
5. Want to watch Benjamin Button and Bolt
6. I need exercise. I want to swim.
7. Ego stepping.
8. I'm excited to try a new church.
9. I don't know what to eat for lunch.
10. I am praying for you.

life.oh.life.

lucky you

telling myself that next time,
it's going to be the other way around.
i will only what i did once.
and i have already done it.
seems you hold the record.
lucky you.

sunday morning

i can't believe i'm up. it's a sunday morning, it's 9 am. just waiting for the heater to boil up enough water for a bath.

quite weird today. woke and felt mosquito bites on both my ears...soooo itchy. never happened before. just hope they're not caused by the spider i found lurking at the corner of my room just now. stupid spider :( hate hate hate spiders

Being Brave

I was speaking with Mel earlier and she was telling me how afraid she was sleeping alone now that her flatmate has already left. And in a way, I praise God that He has guided me to have the courage to live alone :)

New Year's Post 2009

This was supposed to have been completed last December 31, 2008/January 1, 2009... Got a lil hung up over some stuff... So here's my New Year's post...a few days late. :D

On the road to 2009...

Is it time again for another one of those entries? It seems only it was yesterday that I was trying to create my year end blog entry for 2007 while welcoming 2008. And now, 2008 will soon be gone. I'm starting to draft my entry a little bit earlier this year. Today's the 30^th and I am assuming I'll finish on the 1^st of January just collecting my thoughts.

Like any other year, I cherish the moment that I am in Baguio. I think I've come to realize that it's not really the city I appreciate (though I do) but the house that my parents have built for us to enjoy here. It's the room, the bed, the way everything was made is just so charming and lovable for me.

When we arrived last December 28, I thought that the house lost its charm. It was so dark and I couldn't seem to connect with it. I was even thinking whether or not it was about time to let the house of my memories go. (My mom wanted to sell this house since I was very young and I until now adamantly object to that thought) But when I got to the rooms, changed the sheets on my favorite bed and lied down, it was just too perfect to let go of. I realize the house will never lose its charm for me as it will always be my special place, my peaceful place.

I slept wonderfully that night, drowning in a sea of pillows and stuffed toys that filled my baby bed. Yes, I'm 23 and I cherish sleeping in the bed I've slept in for the past 20 years in this home. It's simply comforting. :)

It's our third night here today and tomorrow's the last night for this visit as we're going back to Manila on the 1^st. Aww.. If only I could stay a little longer, enjoy the peace and quiet a little more.

I'm Hong Kong bound again on the 4^th of January, at 8AM, giving me some time to clean up the HK house and probably get some rest before starting work again in HK. I have to make sure this time I show up at work on time or else I'm sooo dead. Haha. So...

New Year's Resolution # 1: Go to work on time!

But despite the plans of going back to Hong Kong with the hopes of extending for 6 months more, my mind is already on maybe staying here in Baguio for a month after that just for a nice refreshing sabbatical/vacation.

It's all about this place isn't it?

Now moving on from my raving of my peaceful place, I went to SM a while ago and they were already promoting Chinese New Year. 2009 is the year of the Ox and all I could say was

“Sh*t, I'm turning 24 next year”

I remember last August I wrote about how turning 23 made things feel right. And indeed on my 23^rd year of existence, a lot of things happened to me.

2008 was definitely my year of change.

• Sliver of pain, flicker of hope
• On January 14, 2008, I lost quite a sentimentally valued bracelet, and had one of the most interesting, memorable and unbelievable conversations I have had in my life. It kinda started my year on a very unique track to well... change. Thank you.
• Cuptails and Dreams
• Was a bit too sweet for my taste though.
• Leaving Team Lenovo
• Just before vacation, we were told that our client was pulling out on relocation and we had to get things done in a span of about two weeks.
• Joining Team P&G
• SAP! haha
• Eventually joined Team IBM Sunrise
• It was a time for signs and I joined the team because God told me to stay on and wait.
• Learning how to Dive
• Certified Open Water Scuba Diver (many thanks to Instructor Neil Que, and fellow Sad Banana Divers RJ, RJ Jr., Jude, and AJ)
• AIESEC traineeship applications
• Turning 23
• Leaving IBM after 2 years, 1 month and 1 week. (September 1, 2006 – October 9, 2008)
• Packing.
• Taking a leave from AGSB. I wonder if I will still go back?
• Leaving for Hong Kong.
• UBS HR.
• Starting life anew.

And maybe there are many more things that I have failed to mention or will mention below as I remember them before the year ends. I guess for now all I could say is that asl far as I can remember, 2008 was a good year of change. It was challenging and it had a lot of negative ratings as every year would probably have, but it wasn't emotionally scarring. In fact, right now, if I could describe my 2008 in one word, it would be...

“Sweet”

Some of the neighbors have started with the fireworks already. I guess they're ready to welcome the New Year with open arms.

Thinking about it, on a more global level, I think a lot of people would be ready to be rid of 2008. The economic downfall and other issues affected people all over the world.

• In Hong Kong, there were old grandmas and grandpas who were staging a protest outside a well-known bank because they have lost their life savings when certain stocks dropped.
• In the US and other countries, people were being laid off from their jobs. One company laid off around 75,000 staff. That is just ONE company. It's ultimately devastating.
• In India, two of its largest , most prestigious hotels were bombed and invaded by terrorists leaving hundreds dead and tourists stranded.
• In China, the Szechuan Earthquake struck and left thousands homeless, with their families never to be seen again.
• In China and parts of Asia, the Melamine scandal broke out and infants were found sick, or dying because of poisoning (or well to put it nicely, extenders) in their milk.
• In the USA, democrat Barack Obama won a historical election against republican John McCain.
• In the Philippines, well good ol' Philippines, well, of course, there's charter change, an impeachment, scandals left and right, and Erap thinking of running for president again in 2010 IF there is no unity in the “United Opposition”

Sigh, so what's new?

I'll stop for now and continue tomorrow. (December 30, 2008 9:42PM)

It's almost 7 PM, December 31, 2008. Five more hours to go and the earth shall usher 2009 in. I wonder what 2009 will bring? Fireworks continue at the neighbor's house. I still couldn't get a shared wifi signal from anywhere inside the house. I'm hiding in our attic now, my dad's makeshift office from before. I used to be afraid of coming up here on my own, but I guess that was before, when stories of attics are bountiful and believable.

If I had a choice I'd really choose to live here, or maybe some province other than Manila. I'm not sure why that's the thought in my head but it seems that it was planted in me quite a long time ago. Oh well, whatever God's will would be. Que sera sera. ;)

Finally decided to get rid of my U700. I remember blogging about it in last year's New Year's entry about getting it the year before but I guess we just don't seem to be compatible with each other as it keeps dying on me. Thinking of getting an E63 instead. Thinking of going back to a Nokia after around 4 years.

Looking back at 2008, I'm thinking if I missed anything worth mentioning since last night. But my mind draws a blank as I am called to get some dinner. Maybe something will come again later. As I close this entry.

For now, it's just, I am thankful for 2008, and my 2^nd New year's resolution has finally come.

New Year's Resolution # 2: Lose weight! Exercise more! :D

It's not really impossible but it's somehow less doable than the first one, which I really Have to do... :D

Hmm, just a random thought that came to me just now... one big announcement in '08 was one of my friends getting married soon.

Bestwishes to Cheska this coming May! :)

I guess it just shows how time can pass by so quickly. One time we’re at that age when all we attended were debuts, and now, the weddings are going to start.

Time passes, things change, people evolve...

Hmmm..

New Year's Resolution #3: Be more active, outgoing. Go out more!

January 9, 2009

9 days have passed since 2009 stepped in. And no one could stop it.

Cheers to the 2008 that passed and may 2009 be a blessed year for all of us.

xxx

xxx