I think a lot of people are more excited and uptight about what's happening more than me. Either that or I'm just not paying too much attention. It's September 1 on Monday, and technically, if things go right, I will be out of the Philippines by September 27 or 28, and ready to start my new job on September 29. I don't even feel the pressure yet. It's weird.
I submitted my resignation the other day and a little bit of the reality sank in that I will be leaving. Apart from that, nothing. Something must be wrong, or I am just too hung up that there are still a lot of things to do at my current job to think about something else yet. Well, if that's the case, how come I am not doing ANYTHING?
I really have no idea.
I need to prepare. I need to talk to my professors. I need to write a lot of papers. I need to finish my tracking sheets, get my email in order and just do work. I need to continue to go to school. I need to pack. I need to know what to pack..
I definitely have a mental picture of what I should do, or well should be doing, I just have to execute.
Time to face it. I'm giving myself another week, before I go all panicky.
Saturday, August 30, 2008
Thursday, August 14, 2008
Devotion for the day
C. S. Lewis wrote that, "God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our conscience, but shouts in our pains. It is His megaphone to arouse a deaf world."
capacity
One thing I realized these past few days concerns capacity.
Sometimes we find ourselves saying, "punong puno na ako," "ayoko na," or "sige pwede pa, kaya ko pa" at different points, different situations in our lives.
Human capacity is unlike any container. It is flexible for certain things, certain options, certain situations, or at time certain people. We are, for example, more tolerant of the mistakes of close family members, or friends, or loved ones, compared to those you do not know, or simply just know by name or face. Sometimes we let things "overflow" but because we are experiencing it still and we are alive, I believe it can still be contained.
The relational ability in a person is amazing. It can connect separate streets, it can burn bridges, it can do simply anything to make someone change and realize their capacity.
And when I say capacity, i mean our ability to use our senses and go deeply into ourselves to give or to take away certain things to or from certain people or situations.
Yesterday, I realized I had the capacity to just give. Also, at the same time, I realized that I had the capacity to just throw a very large temper tantrum or just be angry enough to throw things on the floor. I realized that I change depending on the situation, on the person, on the place, on everything in the world and the fact that I still emerge, alive, and breathing, no matter how scarred or how un-scarred.
I am alive. That alone is a gift. I am a jumping, bounding container that can go larger and larger or smaller and smaller depending on things given us.
The Bible always said that God will not give us things that we cannot bear. And right now, I think it goes for things both good and bad. Both burden and blessing.
And right now, no matter how circular this entry would read like, I am simply thankful for the ability to have a capacity.
Sometimes we find ourselves saying, "punong puno na ako," "ayoko na," or "sige pwede pa, kaya ko pa" at different points, different situations in our lives.
Human capacity is unlike any container. It is flexible for certain things, certain options, certain situations, or at time certain people. We are, for example, more tolerant of the mistakes of close family members, or friends, or loved ones, compared to those you do not know, or simply just know by name or face. Sometimes we let things "overflow" but because we are experiencing it still and we are alive, I believe it can still be contained.
The relational ability in a person is amazing. It can connect separate streets, it can burn bridges, it can do simply anything to make someone change and realize their capacity.
And when I say capacity, i mean our ability to use our senses and go deeply into ourselves to give or to take away certain things to or from certain people or situations.
Yesterday, I realized I had the capacity to just give. Also, at the same time, I realized that I had the capacity to just throw a very large temper tantrum or just be angry enough to throw things on the floor. I realized that I change depending on the situation, on the person, on the place, on everything in the world and the fact that I still emerge, alive, and breathing, no matter how scarred or how un-scarred.
I am alive. That alone is a gift. I am a jumping, bounding container that can go larger and larger or smaller and smaller depending on things given us.
The Bible always said that God will not give us things that we cannot bear. And right now, I think it goes for things both good and bad. Both burden and blessing.
And right now, no matter how circular this entry would read like, I am simply thankful for the ability to have a capacity.
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
Turning 23
I think I like the number 23...
I mean, I didn't have much of an averse reaction to it compared to the other years when you hear it. 22, 24, 25 and up...
Yesterday, I turned 23.
(Yeah, a belated Happy Birthday to me. )
And it didn't feel wrong.
In fact, it felt, quite stable, and strong, and on the ground.
I spent my birthday going to work, going to school, and dinner with my family.
I didn't get to spend it with many friends because it was a weeknight and it felt weird to celebrate early on.
I do appreciate the greetings though.
Thank you to the people who didn't forget. :)
Thank you for my new teammates who ordered the much-publicized "Pansit Motel" for my birthday. It really tasted good. And the cheesecakes of course. :)
Thank you to Chris, Aiza and Momi Hope for remembering.
and to all those who remembered a day after, Thanks :)
I would have to admit, I anticipated being 23 with a lot of expectations,
Just as last year, not all were met.
But, it's alright. It was a humbling experience actually.
Today, a lot of people have come up to me and asked how my birthday went.
If I kept count, I'd already run out of fingers.
And if I told you guys, it went OK, it really went ok.
Not Rock Your World, but Ok.. and I am satisfied.
As grounded and as humbling being 23 can be.
I mean, I didn't have much of an averse reaction to it compared to the other years when you hear it. 22, 24, 25 and up...
Yesterday, I turned 23.
(Yeah, a belated Happy Birthday to me. )
And it didn't feel wrong.
In fact, it felt, quite stable, and strong, and on the ground.
I spent my birthday going to work, going to school, and dinner with my family.
I didn't get to spend it with many friends because it was a weeknight and it felt weird to celebrate early on.
I do appreciate the greetings though.
Thank you to the people who didn't forget. :)
Thank you for my new teammates who ordered the much-publicized "Pansit Motel" for my birthday. It really tasted good. And the cheesecakes of course. :)
Thank you to Chris, Aiza and Momi Hope for remembering.
and to all those who remembered a day after, Thanks :)
I would have to admit, I anticipated being 23 with a lot of expectations,
Just as last year, not all were met.
But, it's alright. It was a humbling experience actually.
Today, a lot of people have come up to me and asked how my birthday went.
If I kept count, I'd already run out of fingers.
And if I told you guys, it went OK, it really went ok.
Not Rock Your World, but Ok.. and I am satisfied.
As grounded and as humbling being 23 can be.
Friday, August 08, 2008
08.08.08
The thoughts on my mind last night...
Who knows what will happen tomorrow.
Fully anticipated 08.08.08
The hotels and event places must be booked today...
Given the weddings that will take place
Why, some friends may actually be torn as to whose party they will attend.
The Olympics officially starts...
My friend Jasper's parents go to Hong Kong for the 08.08.08 boarding pass thrill
Life goes on.
With loads of tracking sheets to update.
And more assignees to take in.
Yesterday's winner question of the night:
"Would you choose the person you love, or the person who loves you?"
Who knows what will happen tomorrow.
Fully anticipated 08.08.08
The hotels and event places must be booked today...
Given the weddings that will take place
Why, some friends may actually be torn as to whose party they will attend.
The Olympics officially starts...
My friend Jasper's parents go to Hong Kong for the 08.08.08 boarding pass thrill
Life goes on.
With loads of tracking sheets to update.
And more assignees to take in.
Yesterday's winner question of the night:
"Would you choose the person you love, or the person who loves you?"
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