chase' mental case

Clad in a black halter top and shorts, I start my day. What the heck am I doing again, some might say...Honestly, I just wanna feel better. I wake up sweating because the sun was on my back and and the aircon's been dead for hours. I feel like I haven't slept in a century. (Yeah, yeah, that's exagerrating) But honestly, I woke up tired, unrested and harassed.

I'm used to wearing these clothes when I feel awful...Not only does it make me feel better but it makes me feel free. A friend of mine would kill me for saying all this but I know that person understands my views nonetheless. But anyway, I feel awful so I gotta dress nicely to feel a little better. Some people are just crazy, noh? Look at me. I feel insane.

I'm leaving for a conference tomorrow and I'm not even up to it. I'm not up to anything. All I wanna do is wallow and sit and stare at the wall. Anybody got the cash to enroll me in a rehab program? Nyahahahahha

What's the number to mental again?

I was digging through my cabinet and I found an old journal I used to keep for English (Oops, it's "Communication Arts" nga pala) class. My teacher used to tell me that keeping a journal is not like keeping a diary... I thought, maybe I could transfer that practice here. Who cares if what I write isn't creative? It's my blog anyway! Hehehe

Another thing I found was a book I used to make a report on in Chinese class last year. Entitled "Eating Chinese Food Naked" it talks about this Chinese girl who was born in the states and had a particular attachment to her mother. She has an American boyfriend whom she thinks she loves but later on realizes while eating Chinese food naked that the love that he had for her was shallow. By observing how he ate and how he kept all the meaty parts to himself, the girl left him... I guess I have to read the book again but right now, I'm just plain harassed!!!

I swear, the clothes are helping me but well, it aint enough. Even the glass of Iced Coffee didnt help!!! Argh! I need a new environment.

I was reading the Bible this morning, finding verses of comfort. I browsed through it and got some encouragement. My source of strength comes from God and without him, I might not even be typing now. I don't care what you think.

I sound pathetic already, I know. I feel like a crappy loser! Oh, heaven help me.