i flopped my theo orals today. i swear, it seemed like it was the first time that i heard myself stutter. such a complete lack of confidence, could've just slapped myself right then and there if that didn't look more stupid than anything else.

it was crazy. i go into the room, saying, "is God with me today?" reaching towards the table and grabbing a number that was upside down..and when i saw it, looked at my teacher, i said, "no, God is not with me today..."

it was a figure of speech. i knew he was there. Maybe i just lacked the faith i needed to hack through my orals... God, i never saw myself that flustered... it was just not me. but well, i was flustered and I got the thesis statement that i hated the most: Thesis #1.

I swear my heart dropped. i listened to myself stutter unable to explain the essence of liberation theology.. gawdddd. i should lean to process theories better the next time around... argh

this is too much of a damn day