Ok, That's It

I was walking towards Eastwood this morning and didn't notice Chris walking in front of me until she stopped and smiled and said, ang tulala mo kasi.

Monday morning. Perfect excuse.

But it's not really that it was Monday morning. For the past weeks, I have learned to be desensitized with Mondays. Realizing that Fridays always come only a few days after and the weekend is just a few hours before Monday. It's really just nothing anymore.

So there I was, trying to find my way to CyberOne, staring into space, thinking how stupid the cleaner was for using a floor polisher to wash/brush/clean a wash out floor with soap and water. That polisher's not going to be around for long... when Chris stopped and smile at me and said I was tulala. True, I was.

More tulala matters later on when we reached the office building. Ms. A talks about the state of my current Chinese assignees in Singapore - oh my poor assignees. Opens the computer and continues a conversation with Eug from a txt message he sent last night. And finally came to a certain conclusion to say, "OK, THAT'S IT"

"OK, THAT'S IT" is not this wonderful beautiful idea, it's actually a confused decision regarding pursuing certain things in life. That little by little everyday, you realize that what you've been actually searching for is not really there. And that you've probably been looking in the wrong place for almost two years. Or maybe, little by little everyday, the truth sinks in.

Better late than never, many will say. Better late than never. Looking back, it's true that the years weren't really wasted. I was brought back up to my feet by going after this thought, this crazy idea. I was up and about and I knew it had made me better.

I'll divert first and share with you something about a show my mom and I have been staying up late for these days. She started watching this show called "Sister/Jiejie" - a korean telenovela a few days ago... I came home and got hooked despite being so tired for the past few days. It tells the story of a girl who basically grew up a princess - dad's a tycoon, bought all those designer labels, and was about to go to Italy to get further studies. She had a poor professor/lecturer boyfriend whom she really loved but let go off because her father didn't really approve of him being poor and all that stuff. She mourned her loss but tried to put on this mask and told everyone that she left because he was poor...and now that she was free, she could actually buy all the stuff she wants without the feeling of guilt. Anyways, just wanted to say, I have to agree with her. It's not really you don't care about a person sometimes, but then there are things that you can't compromise and WILL NOT compromise EVER.

Problem with her in the story is that twist of fate made her poor. Oh well.

Back to making me better...

I couldn't deny that I am at a better state than what I was around 3 years ago. I am stronger and back in fighting form. Three years ago, I was down, I felt like a rag and I didn't believe in myself. It took a lot of time to believe in my strengths and abilities again. So, despite the truth that is sinking day by day that the reason that prodded me to go on this journey is not really a solid one, I am proud to say that it made me better. It gave me that initiative to actually move on and see better things.

So maybe now, I am ready.

To move on again.

We'll see.

After all, we never know what life has in store for us.

We'll see...we'll see...