capacity

One thing I realized these past few days concerns capacity.

Sometimes we find ourselves saying, "punong puno na ako," "ayoko na," or "sige pwede pa, kaya ko pa" at different points, different situations in our lives.

Human capacity is unlike any container. It is flexible for certain things, certain options, certain situations, or at time certain people. We are, for example, more tolerant of the mistakes of close family members, or friends, or loved ones, compared to those you do not know, or simply just know by name or face. Sometimes we let things "overflow" but because we are experiencing it still and we are alive, I believe it can still be contained.

The relational ability in a person is amazing. It can connect separate streets, it can burn bridges, it can do simply anything to make someone change and realize their capacity.

And when I say capacity, i mean our ability to use our senses and go deeply into ourselves to give or to take away certain things to or from certain people or situations.

Yesterday, I realized I had the capacity to just give. Also, at the same time, I realized that I had the capacity to just throw a very large temper tantrum or just be angry enough to throw things on the floor. I realized that I change depending on the situation, on the person, on the place, on everything in the world and the fact that I still emerge, alive, and breathing, no matter how scarred or how un-scarred.

I am alive. That alone is a gift. I am a jumping, bounding container that can go larger and larger or smaller and smaller depending on things given us.

The Bible always said that God will not give us things that we cannot bear. And right now, I think it goes for things both good and bad. Both burden and blessing.

And right now, no matter how circular this entry would read like, I am simply thankful for the ability to have a capacity.