My Monday, My Tuesday...Drained.

It's just Tuesday. I'm feeling a little blue. Ok, that's an understatement. I'm stressed, frustrated and stressed some more.

Typical me. You'd say. Yeah, I know, I think the normal for me is to be stressed. And yes, somehow, I won't deny that. I've been acting ever so grumpily since yesterday. I came into work (yes, late, it was Monday) and all of the sudden the normal requests felt, read and sounded like demands. It was insane. Even my closest assignee was hyper and stressed out with his request to me. I snapped at him. Thank God he knew me well enough to not snap back. haha

And then yesterday just went on. I had requests and questions that seem to be just out of my control. I am suddenly thrown into a world which I know all too well. Did I not tie up the lose ends? Do I have enough time? Did I do this? Did I do that? Do I do this? Seems like each question has a different answer and it gets too quirky to answer. And it seems like even if I know I am capable, I find myself to be not capable at all. To be helpless. To be hopeless.

I never really imagined work to hit me like this. Maybe it's that time where I have the right to be cranky at anyone. But it did show me a part of myself that scared me. Despite so much control trying to be exercised, I find myself snapping at everyone who asks me a question I deem stupid or well, at people who ask me a question, I answer properly and doubt me and say, Really?

I got really pissed off at the person who told me yesterday to not put some stuff into my email. I was like, "wait, you are in no position to tell me what I can write in my emails, and they're standard for crying out loud!" Thank God Ryan confirmed my statement early this afternoon. She just shut up. See? I answered you correctly yesterday so STOP pissing me off. You and your OC friends who seem to want to control everything.

NO, MIssy... or missies? LOL Control is mine, control is ours. LOL

I'm grumpy can't you see?

It's Tuesday now. Above is a lot of ranting only probably 3 or 4 people will be able to understand. But this is my channel. So get out if you hate me.

Tuesday started with a lot of prayer. I was caught in QC traffic while I was on the jeepney and found myself praying for patience and how to get through this day...

I found myself continuing my prayer through my YM status, asking God to help me have enough courage to get me through the day.

Funny how God even made this a channel for me to share about Jesus Christ to my client who happens to be on the contact list. I will start to pray for her tonight.. :) Hope she feels the love.

So the morning flies by, career thoughts as well. A talk with a colleague reminds me of a very important thing I have to ask about w/ my superiors... I hope I gather enough courage for that as well...

So tired today.

A noisy inner self.

A stressed outward appearance.

Surprise guests on my site...

Questions.. questions...more questions...

No answers at all.

I'm out of energy.

I'm drained.